On the 12th of February the movie Fifty Shades of Grey premiered in the Austrian cinemas. There was the option to obtain special Ladies Night tickets, including an alcoholic beverage and – if I am not mistaken – a massage oil of the official product line Fifty Shades of Grey – why not the Beginners Bondage Kit, I wondered… Even though it would probably have been a waste of money, I did mean to go and see this hype for myself. Due to illness I was bound to the couch though – more or less willingly, sadly without cuffs or a rope 😉
No, I still have not read the book. It is kind of hard to get motivated when an author such as Sir Salman Rushdie says “I’ve never read anything so badly written that got published. It made Twilight look like War and Peace.” But I will give it a go. If he has read it, I should too 🙂 The movie I will watch as well. Not because I expect much of it, but because I want my opinion on the story being well-founded. From what I have heard about it, I am not optimistic. In fact, I am concerned. The austrian news covered the premiere and showed how many people were at the cinema that very first evening. At some point they showed a young couple. I estimate they were both maybe 16-17 years old. The girl beamed and said: “Who would not want to see a movie about romance, love and sex?” The boy looked like he wanted to disappear, or as we say in Holland, like a farmer with a toothache. “Stupid girl, you have no clue what you are talking about“, I thought. And the very next thought: “What is it you’re thinking, you poor guy…“.
When I was a teenager there was no internet at home or at school. There was no hidden porn, at least not that I knew of. I could only look in a dirty magazine in a shop or secretly read Turkish Delight by Jan Wolkers or Sexus by Henry Miller, two books that were rather high up on my mother’s bookshelf. When I asked my mother what having sex with a man was like, she said: it is like eating toast with smoked salmon – which I knew she enjoyed at least every once in a while (the smoked salmon that is) but did not make it any more clear to me.
Nowadays young people have the internet, youporn.com and movies like Fifty Shades of Grey to get an impression what intercourse is like, c.q. what sex for two is supposed to be. I do not have a problem with teenagers informing themselves. Sexual curiosity does not necessarily kill the cat. But I do think they should have some guidance as to what is reality and what is fantasy. When it comes to Fifty Shades of Grey, I feel young men could get under a lot of pressure. More pressure. Since not only women but also teenage girls supposedly go nuts over this rich-guy-wants-to-whip-a-virgin-girl-because-that-is-the-kind-of-sex-that-works-for-him-fantasy, I as a boy would seriously start to wonder if that is what I am supposed to do with/to my girlfriend. There is already the whole losing-your-virginty-stress, STI-stress, performance stress, peer pressure and now a guy also has to consider bringing some cuffs, a whip and spanking cream to a date…?
Romance is a candle light dinner, having a moonlight stroll, picking daisies together, him doing the dishes and hanging up the laundry or she bringing out the garbage for a change. BDSM (Bondage & Discipline with Sadism & Masochism) contains a variety of erotic, sexual games or practices, involving submission and dominance based on mutual trust. It can be something people like to experiment with from time to time, or an integrated part in every day life. Whatever the girl in the cinema has been fantasizing about, it has nothing to do with that.
I can only say my heart goes out to all young, unexperienced men out there, who have to deal with this nonesense…
Oh, all you superficial girls who dream of falling in love with a rich man: you do not deserve to get properly spanked in the first place! :p
The Secretary: now that’s a good movie on the topic!