goodman3

Ehm… no.

Lately I’ve been following The Good Men Project – the conversation no one else is having a lot. What is this website about? “The Good Men Project is a glimpse of what enlightened masculinity might look like in the 21st century.” Here you can find many articles on men and relationships, dating, love, pornography, getting older, being a parent, … It is a place to communicate about “the way men’s roles are changing in modern life—and the way those changes affect everyone… And we do it without moralising and without characterising our audience; we let guys be guys, but we do it while challenging confining cultural notions of what a “real man” must be.” 

I have been meaning to write an article on bad boys and why women feel so attracted to them. We all know what they say about bad boys: when it comes to sex, they are (supposed to be) more fun than the nice guy who irons his own shirts, shares his feelings and actually sends you a message back when you text him. But other than ‘doing it better’ bad boys are assholes to say the least. It’s exactly this combination of sugar and asshole which makes them so difficult to deal with – or get out of our systems. 

A bad boy is a macho, a typical ‘real man’, he has this strong sexual aura that lures us girls like Pooh Bear to the honey pot and – this is the nasty part – he knows so very well how to manipulate a woman into believing she will be the girl who will make him settle down, make him a good boy.

I find this bad boy syndrome (BBS) fascinating. I did not meet a lot of them, but I know women who have. They know he is not to be trusted, that he is full of bull poop, that he lies, but they want to be with him, believe him nonetheless. Why? Because he is really something different in bed. He is like a drug. He makes them feel so desirable, so wanted. He shows his strength. He is in control. He likes it rough and dirty. Here is the proof by the way that women (secretly…?) like the cave man treatment – otherwise they would not feel attracted to this type of men, now would they?

Women with BBS say nice guys, good men, don’t have it in them and at the same time they want to catch this naughty bad boy, this not so very much enlightened male I may add, cage him and turn him into the same good man they think they don’t desire. It’s ironic, isn’t it?

Now my burning question is: is it really true that good men, men who are emancipated, who are caring, who show their feelings are less fun, less naughty and less dirty underneath the sheets? Maybe the nice guys from The Good Men Project want to shed their light on the topic?