THE ART OF CUNNILINGUS AND HOW BOTH CAN ENJOY IT

Proper sex education is not only about how babies are born and how to prevent getting a sexually transmitted infection. In our view sex education should also – maybe even primarily – be about how to have good, fulfilling sex with our selves and with others.  
Tallulah shares her view on proper cunnilingus aka going down on a lady and throws in some tips for him and her along the way. 

The other day I met my friend Hannah, one of my most sexually active friends, for coffee. Some years ago, when I was desperate to get me a new lover quickly, she suggested to use casual dating sites to find what I’d been looking for – just so you understand where she’s coming from. Anyway, she started to talk about her current man, his virility and his qualities in bedroom over some apple strudel we shared. After we ordered our second round of coffee, Hannah claimed that men would only perform oral sex on a woman because they feel obligated to do it, believing it is part of the package and not something they do for the simple joy of it. No matter what I said, I was not able to convince her otherwise.

After seeing Hannah I could not stop wondering: am I just a lucky girl who’s never met a guy who refused “to do it” or didn’t really want to, but who rather insisted on going down on me and bury himself in my juicy pussy?
I talked to male straight friends, spoke to lovers and ex-lovers and started to go back to casual dating sites. Yes, I went down that path again happily as Hannah suggested, and found a lot of profiles where men expressed their desire to have active oral sex. Some of course in the combination with receiving blow jobs, others because they just “love to see how a woman floats off in her juices”.

So why is it then that there are still women in our society who believe that men don’t like to go down on them?

How come women still think that their private parts are not a place of joy for those who visit it? Is it because you guys simply don’t communicate how much you love to eat your lady’s pussy? Or do some men really find it unmanly if they go down on a woman? Is it a variation of body shame women have regarding how their vulvas look compared to those of porn actresses they might have seen? Do they fear their scent might not appeal to their lovers? Do they not allow themselves to find out how wonderful they taste?

Once a short time lover of mine told me just before we got naked that he wondered how my pussy would taste. I answered “like fresh roasted hazelnuts”. While indulging himself on my pussy for the very first time he suddenly stopped, smiled at me and said “you were right. Hazelnuts.”

Refusing to get licked while a woman is on her period can be a measure of safe sex, especially if you are not tested and feel unsure about your own and/or your lover’s HIV and Hepatitis-status. But then of course, you could use dental dams to prevent a possible infection. So sorry guys and girls, that time of the month is no excuse for not licking or getting licked.

WHAT SHE CAN DO
Women who are insecure about receiving oral sex should start to get acquainted with their “down below”. Do you know how your labia are formed? Do you know which ones are bigger: the inner or the outer labia? Are your outer labia darker? Have you ever had a closer look at your clitoris, where it is positioned? Maybe it is about time to go back to the old hand mirror and have a proper look on that lovely vulva of yours? Explore your scent, smell your fingers after you have masturbated and try out how lovely your fluid tastes.

These are the first steps a woman can take to feel more comfortable with the idea of receiving oral pleasure. So how about all the things you men can do to have your female lover yearning for the way you lick her?

WHAT HE CAN DO
If you are an experienced pussy pamperer, tell her how much you like it and how beautiful she/her vulva is. Proof it! Ask her how many fingers she likes to have in her vagina while you suck her. She for sure will tell you.
Hold her labia wide open with one hand, this can be a lovely sensation. It is, after all, very important to make her comfortable as you touch her and never forget: give her all attention you possibly have.

If you are not sure how to do it, I have one easy suggestion for you: think about your cock. Yes, think about your penis and how you like it to be treated when sucked by your lover. You tell her how you like it sucked, don’t you?
Now get this message: the clitoris is just as sensitive as the head of your penis, if not even more. But it is not just the clitoris; all the tissue around it and particularly the region towards the entrance of the vagina are most sensitive to your touch and a good place to arouse your woman. Long kisses on the thighs are also never a mistake. Since there is no visible shaft of the clit you can work on, make sure you give the whole area a lot of attention with your tongue, your lips, maybe also a finger or two. Touch all her delicate spots, the inner as well as the outer labia. The shaft of the clit lies underneath that tissue. Be gentle and only press harder or move faster when she asks you to.

POSITION SHIFT
If you for any reason have some problems with your neck that make it difficult to lick her while lying on your belly, lie on your back and invite your woman to sit on your face. Not only is it more comfortable, it is also a very sexy position for the both of you. It doesn’t have to become good old 69 position, but of course it could, allowing you a splendid view while she simultaneously returns the favour. 

Between your lover’s thighs lies a kingdom to conquer and if you know how to use your lips and tongue there, you might be crowned a king!

INSPIRATION
There is pussy eating in films and literature of course, but we don’t have to go back to Henry Miller and Anaïs Nin to get some inspiration. Diana Gabaldon allows the Highlander Jamie Fraser in her well acclaimed Outlander series to demand licking his wife’s pussy. Or Tony Soprano, the Mafia Don from New Jersey in the The Sopranos, is also fond of some proper cunnilingus.
Women should know that men genuinely love to eat pussy. Those men who have not found the joy in it might need to experiment on how to make it a more pleasurable experience for both parties.

There are men out there who almost come when they pleasure their partner orally, for whom it is a torture when their lover is ill and no licking is possible. Some men give their lovers pussy a sweet name and greet it after being apart for a little while. Others love make singing sounds while licking and use their lips as vibrators while going down on a woman. And there are men out there who may not start until being asked to do so, but once they have her permission they’ll never stop. Men love eating pussy. We just have to give them a chance to proof it.

EATING OUT
I believe that oral sex is a particularly precious and fun experience to share, because by doing it we use parts of our bodies that are public and not primarily connoted with sex. Just imagine going out for the evening, all dressed up, having dinner with your colleagues, eating something tasty and remembering where your mouth has been before… Nice memory flash, right? To me licking and sucking each other makes us more sexual as a whole, for there is more involved than what we have to offer below the waistline. And don’t forget: oral sex combines trust, dedication and showing vulnerability. Isn’t that beautiful? Why should one not like it? I don’t know one single reason. Do you?

 

cunnilingus

If this doesn’t get you in the mood…

 

Header image: nakedmenhappywomen.tumblr.com, GIF: lickingifs.tumblr.com