identity2Men have it hard. Men are confused and insecure. Men struggle and contemplate. For what does the 21st century fox want from them?

The softy-macho-discussion that started in the nineties, seems to have left the modern man balancing on the edge of an identity crisis: he must be a powerful, overwhelming animal in bed, and be tender and sensitive to our needs; he has to go out and provide for us, and be at home helping out with the housekeeping and the kids; we want him to be tough and strong, and show his soft, ‘feminine’ side. He has to be someone we can look up to and admire, but he must not make us feel small. And eventhough women don’t understand men themselves, he has to know what is going on in our minds, be understanding and be our best friend. What the modern woman wants, is for the man not to be a man, but the synergy of all his and her best qualities: the perfect human being.

Next to having to deal with all these demands, he has to work with a new set of courting rules as well. She is not waiting for him to hunt her down; she hunts him down. She tells him she wants sex and he needs to perform. In her bags she carries her own lifestyle toys, for she knows exactly what and how she wants it. She leads him. And afterwards she’ll call him, or not.

The media, society’s lethal weapon, is not helping man preserving his masculinity either. I have always been annoyed with all those commercials for women, showing us we need to put cream on our bodies because we get old, wrinkled, ugly and fat, or use pant-liners with perfume because our natural body fluids (the same fluids that attract men like flies on honey) supposedly stink… But in stead of simply putting an end to this degradation, society screams revenge and forces ridiculous products on men as well: he has to dye his grey hair, shave with the newest razor invention and use special creams to hide the stress of the day and make his face smooth as baby buttocks. To make the confusion complete, this modern man who is aware of his femininity, who works on his outward appearance, needs to be a non-stop working sexmachine. He can’t be disfunctional or have a break. No wonder men are lost.

If you ask a man about the perfect woman, he most likely would answer that she has to be caring and loving ‘mother’ in general, and a whore in bed. It may sound stereotype, but at least he keeps it simple and realistic. He does not come up with has-to’s, and’s and but’s. He does not require us to search our souls for possible undiscovered regions. We know we have the mother and the whore in us. How to balance them though is a different story. Maybe there lies the source of our problem: women are catching up, and are catching up fast. But fast is not always better. We need time to find our way, to create harmony within ourselves, without scaring the hell out of men.

So shouldn’t we give the men some slack? I am not saying things should go back to prehistoric times, by all means no. But we should know better. We can’t change a man’s nature, and we should not want to. I say let men be men, and let us explore and enjoy them for what they are: different, interesting and hot!