please

she says no

WHEN SHE SAYS NO
Let’s say I am Morpheus. I hold both hands in front of you. In one hand I have a pink pill – Viagra for women. In the other one a piece of paper with the link to this article.

If you take the pink pill, nothing much will happen. There might be a placebo effect because you so much want to believe the pill will help you feel lustful again. It is more likely  you will only experience some unpleasant side effects such as dizzyness, drowsiness, fainting and low blood pressure, even more so when you take a birth control pill and/or drink alcohol.

If you take the piece of paper with the link to this article and read it, you most likely won’t get horny either. But you may start to be honest with yourself, see and accept the reasons why you don’t want to have sex and find a real solution to the problem. You might also realize that Viagra for women is only a means for a bunch of people to earn lots and lots of money. They don’t care about you being horny or not. 

1507-35FDA APPROVES PINK PILL… AFTER TWO REJECTS
Recently the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved a drug to boost the libido of women called Addyi (the medicine is called Flibanserin), or as we all call it: Viagra for women. It will come on the market in October of this year and is meant for premenopausal women who suffer from the new trend disorder – as I call it – Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) or sudden and unexplained loss of libido.

According to one of my sources the drug had been disapproved twice before, but thanks to a strong marketing push and advocacy campaign from women’s groups the FDA complied. Still, the effect of Addyi is disputed. Eventhough this pink pill has to be taken on a daily basis (Viagra for men is only taken once before wanting to have intercourse…), it does not guarentee the desired result. Originally Flibanserin was an antidepressant. It reduces the lust inhibiting hormone serotonin and hoists the happy hormone dopamine and the hormone resonsible for getting aroused, noradrenaline. Both can boost the female libido, it is not set in stone. Apart from the side effects mentioned above women can fall into a depression as soon as they discontinue the drug. All in all, the pretty pink pill does not sound that great, or?

eacc26fe06a20ff9c776d8dc205061f9HYPOACTIVE SEXUAL DESIRE DISORDER
Let’s have a closer look at this disorder called Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, also called Inhibited Sexual Desire (ISD):

HSDD/ISD is considered a sexual dysfunction and is characterized as a lack or absence of sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activities as judged by a clinician. For this to be regarded as a disorder, it must cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulties and not be better accounted for by another mental disorder, a drug (legal or illegal), or some other medical condition. A person with ISD will not start, or respond to their partner’s desire for sexual activity. Other terms used to describe the phenomenon include sexual aversion and sexual apathy.” ~ Wikipedia

In the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) the disorder got split into male hypoactive sexual desire disorder and female sexual interest/arousal disorder (FSAD. I focus on the female version.

The diagnostic criteria for FSAD including a minimum of three are:

  1. Little interest in sex
  2. Few thoughts related to sex
  3. Decreased start and rejecting of sex
  4. Little pleasure during sex most of the time
  5. Deceased interest in sex even when exposed to erotic stimuli
  6. Little genital sensations during sex most of the time

You can read more about this disorder, its causes and the critism here.

quote-do-what-you-will-this-world-s-a-fiction-and-is-made-up-of-contradiction-william-blake-18847CONTRA(IN)DIC(A)TIONS
Now you might want to know about the contraindications for Viagra for women:

The cause of lack of libido is not psychological, physiological, ascribed to relationship problems or the use of other medication and/or drugs.

This is very interesting, because HSDD/ISD/FSAD is a mental = psychological disorder and the causes are either based on social factors (impact of childhood, experiences during adolescence, sexual abuse during childhood or adolescence, relationship problems, oversexualized society,…) or individual factors (stress, gender identity, sexual believes, religious conviction, depression, health, taking contraceptive pill, low selfesteem, not being in love, etc., etc.).
Physiological factors for FSAD supposedly are not so clear, although “there might be an impairment in the arousal phase among diabetic women. Given that diabetic women show a significant variability in their response to this medical disorder, it is not surprising that the disease’s influence on arousal is also highly variable. In fact, the lack of a clear association between medical disorders and sexual functioning suggests that psychological factors play a significant part in the impact of these disorders on sexual functioning.” ~ Wikipedia

So female Viagra is meant for women suffering from HSDD, but the causes of this disorder are all contraindications! 

happy_pillsSEX SELLS – NO SEX SELLS EVEN BETTER
Critics – me included – say this “disorder” has only been invented by pharmaceutical companies to make money, for there is the potential to make lots of it. Many women suffer from loss of libido: numbers may vary between 40 and 50% of the female population in North America! In our society, where sex is being made into such a big deal, not being in the mood is a huge problem. There has to be a solution and it has to be easy. Since the easiest solution is taking a pill with a sip of water, not feeling lustful has to be made into a disorder. Of course pharmaceutical companies are happy to oblige and of course doctors being sponsered by these companies are happy to diagnose and prescribe.

Since there has been Viagra for men women demand a similar product. But dear ladies, please understand that the blue pill for men is meant for erectyle disorders that have physiological causes. It’s for men who are horny, who have sex drive and want to have sex but can’t get it up and/or keep it up. If a man is not horny, not in the mood and/or under stress, he can take all the Viagra he wants and will not get horny. It is not the same thing, therefore Viagra for men and Viagra for women just can’t be compaired. Still, who cares when there is money to be made.

ee7464dc3e851ac90889344a94f3511ecd19f28786a64a4ac1d1f7f14113b6e6There are other products on the market that are supposed to help both men and women feeling more lustful, mostly herbal supplements with maca root powder and yarrow. I have some experience with these quite expensive products myself and I tell you, they don’t work. I have been taking maca capsules for months. The only change I have noticed is that I am more moist in general. My mood has not changed and that is logical, because the situation I am in, the things that are bothering and annoying me in my life have not changed. No pill can make me feel sexy, happy with my body, not worry about my job situation, not be annoyed with my husband working so much and hardly doing anything at home, not struggle with motherhood, etc., etc.

This brings me to another thing: when you look at the diagnosis HSDD you will see that there is no definition on what “sex” is and no differentiation between physical and emotional reactions to sexual stimuli. Does sex only mean sexual intercourse with another person or does it also include masturbation without a partner present? What if a woman’s body gets aroused but not her mind or vice versa? And how about people who are asexual? Is that a disorder now? These aspects are as far as I can tell not being considered but do make quite a difference as to if something is perceived as a disorder/problem or not. And: if a person does not want to have sex, for whatever reasons, who really has a problem? But again, who cares when billions of dollars can be made.

the-problem-is-not-the-problemSEX, LIES AND SOLUTIONS
What is it that Dr House always says: “Every body lies“. Not only do we lie to each other, we are also great at lying to ourselves. When it comes to not wanting to have sex cq. having a low libido/sex drive, it is often difficult to look the truth in the eye. Why? Because it might have consequences we don’t like. We’d have to talk with one another about a topic not every one feels comfortable talking about. It might require us to work on the problem or to change the situation we are in. We might hurt someone’s feelings. But hey, that’s life.

It would be great if there’d be a pill that would turn us into happy, horny, nice people. I imagine our world would be such a wonderful, happy, lustful and peaceful place. But that pill does not exist. Even if such a pill could be developed, no one with power would ever allow it because I guess 7,363 billion happy, horny people could be a little hard to control.  We better forget about that and start being realistic. That means being honest with ourselves. That means asking ourselves all the hard questions. Don’t want to? Then watch this video over and over again. It’s certainly a lot safer than a pretty pink pill, costs you nothing and who knows, it might even work.

Reading material:
5 reasons to be sceptical
Viagra für Frauen: Brauchen wir das?
Will the ‘female Viagra’ really help women?

Information about Viagra for men on Wikipedia
Information about Viagra for women on Wikipedia

Hyperactive Sexual Desire Disorder
Female Sexual Arousal Disorder

Karen Hicks on Sex Drug for Women