The notorious vaginal orgasm has always been a mystery to me. There was one occasion, a long, long, long time ago, when I was pretty sure I was about to have one. As soon as I thought something intensely awesome was about to happen in my vagina, my ex climaxed and stopped moving altogether. So much – read: not so much – for my first and only ‘pure’ vaginal orgasm. Did I mention it was a long time ago? Well, it really was.
I often thought about what I did – or rather what he did – that may have caused me to come close to coming without any clitoral stimulation. I am clueless. We were having sex on the floor, missionary position, nothing special. He did not have a large or a thick penis, I’d say smaller than average, and he did not make any other moves than regular thrusting. I did not touch myself – back then I did not do that during sex. The only thing I can think of, is that it was the one time where he lasted longer than 3 to 5 minutes.
In retrospect it really baffles me why I never tried to find out the secret of the vaginal orgasm on my own. I masturbated often enough, but I only touched my clit and never tried to stimulate myself vaginally. The idea of putting my own finger in my pussy other than for putting a vaginal capsule in there never came to me. Using a sex toy? Those things were for sexually bored or weird people – yes, I really though that! So in essence I was waiting for a man to magically make the vaginal orgasm happen.
Now, with 40,5 years, I could still be waiting. Of course I do not believe men have ‘the knowledge’ any more. Also, after having tested many toys, I did make two best friends (a model by Jopen and mmmh, the glass dildo). To my surprise I have not turned into a freak and I discovered that by using them to massage my G-spot I am able to intensify my orgasm greatly. Still, without additional clitoral stimulation nothing much happens. This is where Omooni’s first webinar/online workshop about deep vaginal orgasms comes in. Omooni offers online courses that help you elevate your sexuality and your relationship. Even if you, like me, are not so much into tantra and co., the Omooni Team gives a valid, down-to-earth insight into sexuality, how it functions in general and some very good tips to get more out of the experience – both alone and together.
Mariah Freya, certified life and sex coach, sexblogger, podcastreess and one of the two founders of Omooni, discussed the 5 mistakes that prevent women from having vaginal orgasms:
1. Wrong expectations
2. Wrong or no training (= no or wrong self-exploration)
3. Lack of wanting
4. Missing trust
5. Lack of technical knowledge
In case you are interested in the explanation of these 5 mistakes, I advice you to attend her online workshops. Mariah can explain it a lot better than I can, the workshops are for free and you have the opportunity to ask questions. You can of course also follow her Yoni Massage Course and get all the information you are looking for. By the way, both the workshop and the course are not only for women, they are also meant for men/couples, who want to help explore the female orgasm together.
The one big thing I picked up for myself, is to take more time to be aware of what I am feeling when I stimulate certain spots such as my g-spot, and to not go there too soon. It needs time to get warmed up. And so, the very first day after the online workshop, I took my glass wand and took my time. After stimulating my clitoris and focussing on breathing more deeply, I added the toy to the game. Then I decided to stop the clitoral stimulation while continuing thrusting the dildo. Not too fast, not too slow. What happened? I came! I was so happy and surprised! It was a soft feeling, somehow warm, not that explosive as a clitoral orgasm can be, but satisfying nonetheless. A good result for a first time!
So a BIG thank you from me to Omooni!
In case you are interesting in attending a FREE online Omooni workshop: the upcoming one will take place on Wednesday the 22nd of June and will be about a rather difficult theme – jealousy. Mariah and Raffaello Manacorda will talk about how to Un-Jealous Yourself: How to Use Jealousy as a Springboard to Unconditional Love. I will be there!