… or is it not?

Today I have read actress Susan Sarandon is thinking of producing female-friendly adult entertainment, because there is a lot of porn out there that does not make a very female-positive impression – and because she obviously does not seem to be aware of the fact that there have been women (and even some men!) out there who are producing feminist/female-friendly/sex-positive/alternative/authentic pornography for decades already…

The question is: do women really want something else from what’s been out there for decades already? And if so, why?

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The more I concern myself with the topic of women and pornography, the more I tend to say women don’t really want something different – at least not that different. It is mostly the implementing where women like to see some changes. So let’s have a look at that.

  1. Women are easily bored. Always the same sequence – oral sex -> fucking -> anal -> cum shot – gets tedious very quickly. It is important to build in anticipation, tension and surprise elements to keep a woman interested – in porn and during sex for that matter.
  2. Speaking of cum shots: for a woman it is a lot more sexy if a man comes inside her than all over her. Sure, sometimes it can be fun, but when it comes to what feels good for her… nah.
  3. Women are easily distracted. A messy room, weird clothes, annoying music, exaggerated moaning,… These things drag us out of the mood all together and very quickly.
  4. It has to make some sense what’s happening. Crazy, acrobatic poses that look uncomfortable to say the least, stupid storytelling,… Nope, not necessary.
  5. Heterosexual women want to see handsome, attractive men who seem to know what they are doing. Yes, we like to look at naked men having sex, a lot. So please let them be good-looking guys, the ones we would pick ourselves if we had the chance. It makes watching porn so much more enjoyable!
  6. Women want to have the impression every one is having fun. I guess this is the tricky one. In feminist/alternative/female-friendly porn circles producers say female pleasure and satisfaction should be the prime directive. In other words, the woman should come (first) and for real. Does this mean women want to see other women climaxing?
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If the woman wants to identify with the actress, imagine that she can feel what she feels when she is being fucked, than the actress climaxing is important for her. Is it more a turn-on to see that the guy is having optimal pleasure – which I think is what most heterosexual women actually like to see – than the focus should be more on him. That does not mean porn automatically turns into something female-unfriendly.

Sometimes I think we forget what pornography is: it is the visualisation of sexual fantasies. Porn is not real, it is staged. Some themes/interests are rightfully prohibited (child porn, snuff, etc.). Performers should be at least 18 years of age (to be honest I actually think they should be older), doing adult movies out of their own free will, without feeling ashamed about it, get tested regularly, not get forced to do sex acts they don’t want to and earn equal wages. Other than that there is not much difference as to what happens in a porn production, a horror movie, a thriller or an action movie: namely acting.

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Do women want to see realistic, authentic sex? Ehm, I am not sure. Reality is often quite boring and the woman in most cases does not come at all. So to me it is perfectly fine to see sex that is not real with people that do not look like you and me. It is a fantasy and as long as I am aware of that, there is nothing wrong with it.

There will be women who like to watch the same stuff men do and there will be women who prefer watching films with ‘real’ people, authentic sex, more romance, climaxing women, pretty costumes, etc. And you know what? There are also men who want to see something different than the usual Pornhub video. We don’t need porn for women. We need a variety of quality pornography for anyone who is interested.

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