You know I am all against labelling, especially when talking about sexuality. People love to make things complicated, give everything unnecessary names, when it can be so easy if we only talk about being sexual or non-sexual. But hey, let’s stay trendy and talk about “sexual fluidity”.
Being sexually fluid means that you don’t consider yourself straight or gay. You can fall for/feel sexually attracted to a man as well as a woman. It can be that you start out considering yourself straight and later on in life undergo a change into feeling attracted to the same sex. Your sexual identity or sexual orientation can shift back and forth, so to speak, hence the word ‘fluidity’.
Women are considered being more fluid than man. In other words, in our (patriarch) society it is more accepted for women to be sexually fluid. Truthfully, the word ‘accepted’ really means ‘sexy’. Men find it hot when women are sexually fluid, that’s why it’s okay. Men being sexually fluid… now that is a different issue. Straight men who every now and then feel attracted to another man are not bi-sexual or sexually fluid, they are immediately labelled gay. Among men sexual fluidity is a sensitive topic. But then I read this article and I can’t believe my eyes.
‘Why are so many women unwilling to date bi-sexual guys?‘, is the title of the article. Needless to say the following shocked me:
“In a world where many of us cling to our self-perceptions as progressive and judgment-free non-bigots, the sexual fluidity double standard is something of an inconvenient truth. It displays just how deeply conventional gender expectations and misogyny have been embedded in our psyches and personal preferences/turn-ons, even if we’re not outwardly trying to discriminate.
A Reddit thread from a couple years ago featured women frankly discussing this topic. While some were more open-minded than those polled in the Glamour survey, others said they were simply turned off by the idea of dating a bisexual or sexually fluid man.
“The idea of a man wanting to be with another man sexually, turns me off. It’s really that simple,” wrote one.
“The thought of a man wanting to have sex with another man is frightening because it isn’t considered masculine and women crave masculine men,” wrote another. “It is ridiculously homophobic and sexist but it’s the truth, sadly.”
Ladies, what is wrong with you?! Not only do I not understand how women could think two men having sex with each other is not masculine. Two men together = double masculinity in my opinion! One man may be on the receiving end of the man-on-man sex act, still, it does not mean he is less of a man. If the man lies on his back and a woman is on top, is that man less masculine? When two women have sex, is that also less feminine? I don’t think so.
Please people, get rid of these double standards! They have no place here. Don’t think in labels or in genders. You feel attracted to or love for a person, a human being. It does not matter what gender that person has. If by any chance this person has the same gender as you… well, what is the problem? There is no problem, it is not strange, it is not less masculine or feminine and it certainly is not wrong.
To the women who think two men having sex is not a turn on, I say they should have a look at the video in one of my previous posts.