Women and pornography – it’s a fascinating and difficult topic. Do women watch pornography? Hell, yes we do! Why wouldn’t we? We are human too, we have the internet 😉 and we like to get turned on by seeing some steamy sexy time, just like you guys. That we might like the porn we watch to be a little bit different than the usual sleazy Youporn video, that’s another thing. Other than that: hey ho, let’s go!
I guess the female choice of porn depends on her mood and the goal/intention she has. When I like to get inspired to write a saucy story, I watch something that has a lot of sexual tension – which is usually not porn but a regular movie or TV series which has certain erotic scenes in it I find exciting. The act itself is not that interesting. It is all about how lust gets stronger, how the tension between two people keeps growing until they can’t stand it anymore and have to surrender to each other. That’s what I like to write about and what I think turns women on even more than the description of the sex act itself. In other words: well build-up sexual tension brings a woman to a point that she can surrender to her lust more easily.
Then, just like with you guys, there can be the very basic need to get an orgasm – quickly. It’s a private, egocentric situation where no company is necessarily required. Getting the inner cinema going or finding this one toy I left somewhere in a drawer or in the bathroom simply takes too long. I call it the Mac Donalds Experience: I am hungry, no, I am very hangry. I want food and I want it right now. For this goal the same stuff men watch will do – of course each girl has her own specific, individual scene preferences.
Last but not least there is the ‘let’s watch something sassy together, honey, to get us in the mood and because it is fun’ situation. Certainly there are women out there who enjoy watching some hardcore mainstream porn with you. Many women will prefer something a bit more classy, though. Something that doesn’t give us the feeling a woman is nothing more than an object you can shoot your stuff in/on and get it over with. In the end sex is sex and fantasy is fantasy. Porn is the implementation of sexual fantasies and usually not about candle light dinners and watching the sunset. But there are various ways to wrap it up so that it looks more tasteful and respectful to both sexes.
Female porn producers such as Jennifer Lyon Bell, Lucie Blush, Anna from FrolicMe and Erika Lust are playing with the many different ways porn can be presented: more authentic, natural sex scenes, more story, more eye for details, artistic and orginial camera work plus editing, using more colours, humour (she leaves her socks on for a change!), more intimacy (cuddling, kissing, caressing), using attractive male actors (yes, the cute, sexy guys we would be interested in if we’d meet them in real life!), sex-positive, real lust and real orgasms. These are the characteristics of their work. Indie porn, feminist porn, porn for women/couples, however you want to call it, emphasises more on the desires and satisfaction of the woman – which does not mean this type of porn is softer, shows less or that he can’t be dominant and give it to her properly! The woman is simply not being objectified or exploited like she is in regular, male-focussed porn. That’s the clue here – and the reason why this gerne of erotica is very suitable for couples who want to get all lustful and sexy together.
Erika Lust is one of my favourite independent female porn directors. She has published wonderful short erotic stories such as ‘Five Hot Stories for Her’, ‘Life, Love, Lust’, ‘Room 33’ and ‘XConfessions‘, the latter being a collection of stories based on our actual desires/fantasies/experiences – if you are brave enough to share on them on your free XConfessions account. Cool idea, or? Now if you are living or staying in Berlin this February you have the chance to attend an exclusive Director’s Cut of Erika Lust’s XConfessions in the cinema! The details in short:
What: Premiere of the exclusive Directors Cut of the latest XConfessions stories,
including a Q&A with Erika Lust, hosted by The Playlist Editor Jessica Kiang
Who: Presented by the Berlin Film Society
When: February 10th, 8pm
Where: Babylon Kino, Rosa-Luxemburg-Strasse 30 in Berlin – Germany
This is your chance to see something different, innovative, creative and sex-positive!
To get an impression of the power of Lust in advance, watch Handcuffs here for free… oh la la… naughty… 😉